George Carlin Comes to God

That's what the rumormongers would have you believe, anyway. I was both amused and annoyed when the comedian's 2008 death was greeted with rumors about his deathbed conversion. One report had him saying "I'm sorry" to God with his final breath.

As noted in Christopher Hitchens' remarkable book, "God is not Great," this is a longstanding tradition of the hyper-religious. Thomas Paine was hounded on his deathbed "by religious hooligans who demanded that he accept Christ as his savior." When he refused, they fabricated a last-minute conversion regardless. The lie was repeated for Darwin, who was reported "squinting at the Bible at the last." With Albert Einstein, they didn't even bother waiting for death, simply made up grandiloquent quotations in which he confessed his faith in God. Einstein repeatedly gave statements trying to correct these falsehoods.

"The mere fact that such deathbed 'repentances' were sought by the godly," writes Hitchens, "let alone subsequently fabricated, speaks volumes about the bad faith of the faith-based."

Speaking of, here's a touching tribute from Christian writer David J. Stewart: "I liked George Carlin. He spoke his mind about various topics and made no apologies for his opinions. I admire that. I think Carlin was a nice guy. I am very sad that Mr. Carlin denied the Bible, Jesus Christ and God. I certainly don't enjoy knowing that he is almost assuredly in Hell."

Christians are such sweet people, aren't they?